Reality Check

 Last week, I learned something I kind of already knew (had thought about, and then my brain sorted it out while I was sleeping a few days earlier). But it still kind of fried my circuits. A few whirlwind days of wondering "what to do". A lot about what I want, while trying to keep focused on what a friend of mine may want or need. Which I think I also already know, but . . . anyway. Calming down a bit now. 

It's a reality check for me, and how lucky / privileged my life has been. And how amazing people can be. 

yo

 Who reads this anyway? I started writing here again recently as just a place to put stuff that was somewhere between a file on my PC and yet another facebook vague-post. Who am I talking to? why am I acting like I'm talking to somebody? Hahah, brains are fun. 

So - life is good. Life continues. "Easy" is boring; "ease" is good. Love is good. I'm probably annoying; annoying isn't always bad. What's next? who knows. I know many things that I want. I know what I wish for some others. Beauty is everywhere. Relationship is everything. What can I let go of, right now? What will I let go of, right now? 

Love

 what a thing

Life

 Funny how things go. I miss the "too much". Feeling a bit sad sometimes even though I probably don't have any right to be. 

Clear Skies

 So! Had a very good conversation over the course of a couple days after my last post. Cleared some things up. That conversation and one other little action from the same friend were a big help for me. I'm feeling much better - not as much of the "too good". Though, now I know better how to deal with that, so I wouldn't mind if it stuck around. It is nice to feel life more. 

So for now, I feel pretty good about where things are at. There's still plenty of uncertainty about the future, but what else is new? I can be more relaxed now. 

Oh

 So I re-read what I posted the other day. I feel like I should stress - mostly I feel good! sometimes weirdly good, but good. Life is interesting, and good. There's plenty of uncertainty, and some hazard, going on. But. . . I'm OK with all that.

more on that subject

Music: also when listening to music; which I do often while driving. So I think that explains the "while driving" part. I love music, and I listen pretty much just to music I love. And I'm just frequently caught by beauty - in music, in the world, in people. Again this all seems to have started right at a particular time last year. The first week of June.